All I Want For Christmas Is……

Since I began my Spending Diet a month ago, I have only entered Walgreens and Farm and Fleet. Two stores I have deemed safe zones, unable to tempt even the weakest of reformed spenders. For review, the Rules for the my Spending Diet are:

Things I Can’t Buy: Anything that takes up space.

Things I CAN Buy: Anything that makes me look or feel better that does not take up space:)

I have been led not into temptation in said stores.  But I can feel myself weaken.  The bait? Christmas.  I LOVE Christmas, the Carrol’s, the lights, the gifts. My “safe” all purpose stores have been swallowed by Christmas! Lighted trees, ornaments and Santas that move and talk are positioned at the end of every aisle and checkout. While I try and put Christmas shopping out of my head ( it’s not in the budget or on my Spending Diet). I can’t help but feel the angst I feel every Christmas.

Should I buy Rich a gift?

I want to buy him a gift. The perfect gift that will make him happy for hours on end and demonstrate the hours I have put into the thought. Like a modern day Gift of the Magi, but instead of cutting off  my hair, I would cut hair in order to afford the best gift ever! Yet, I am haunted by Christmas’s past, when, I have tried my best to coax him into the holiday spirit for at least one day with an extravagant and much thought about gift.

There was the year of the snowmobile, the Ralph Lauren Purple Label cashmere sweater, the antique pool table…… you name it, I have gone overboard hoping,……knowing that this would be the gifts of all gifts. There could be no better girlfriend/ wife than I. Sacrificing any and all indulgences for myself, in order to see him shocked and overjoyed at my extreme generousity and thoughtfulness.

It goes like this, first he is shocked and overjoyed, even happy. ….. for about 1 minute. When he starts to second guess if this is what he REALLY wanted. He’ll then ask me the stores return policy, maybe  ” X ” is what he wanted, he isn’t sure………Thanks for gift, but he might want something else.

Something else??!!? Is he *#?! crazy? What could be better that your girlfriend /wife buying you the gift you had been drooling over for months? What kind of *#! asks to return a Christmas gift?

Of course I say nothing, I still try to make it the perfect Christmas, but really, it cannot not be fixed.

And so this pattern has defined our past 16 Christmas’s. I resolve every January to NEVER buy him another gift, and I SOFTEN every October thinking this year will be different.

Until last year. It was the second week of Christmas and I still had ZERO plans to buy him anything. I was sick of the let downs, sick if returning gifts that were perfect  (even if I do say so myself) and sick of him not being the tiniest bit gracious when it came to receiving. I had told him the year before I would NEVER buy him another gift. It was just too difficult. And that was where we left it, until one snowy evening when he insisted I ride shotgun to Home Depot as he ran in. As he got in the car he handed me a brochure ” If you want to get me something for Christmas, I would really like this.”

Really?!? Yeah right, what for 3 minutes? I looked at him and gave him an eye roll. ” No really, that would be perfect, I have always wanted one.”

I grabbed the brochure and my purse and marched through the sliding doors. Before the gentleman at the door could finish,”Welcome to Home Depot! Can I help—-”

“Yes you can” I handed him the brochure. “ I need this.”

“Wow, these are great I would love one of these” he said with what seemed genuine sincerity. ” Is this for YOU?!?” He asked,confused

” No, It’s for my husband for Christmas”

“Wow, You are a really nice wife. My wife would never get me one of these.”

I didn’t even bother to ask what “one of these” was. I didn’t care I was just excited to FINALLY be giving Rich a gift he would enjoy! Something he wanted.

The second we got home, Rich was ripping open the box. ” WOW! This thing has everything!” I didn’t know what this thing was. But FINALLY, satisfaction! I had finally bought him a gift he was not finding fault with………… Until I hear, “Hmmmm…huhhhhh…mmmmmm.”

“What?” I called from the next room, “ Is a piece missing?”

“Uhh….no…”

“Well,What then?” I asked. Why the change in tone? What just happened?

I stomped into the room to find Rich sitting in the middle of the living room surrounded by a tons of attachments and motors from what was to be the perfect gift, scratching his head.

” What?!?” What is the problem?”

” UH, I think I already have one of these… ” He caught himself as my eyebrows lifted well into my hairline.

“What ……do……..you…..mean..’you THINK you already have one?!?!?”

“Uh, I mean I used to….I, uh loaned it to a friend, I, uh never got it back……uh, it was NO WAY as nice as this one……” and the stammering continued as I walked out of the room. ” No REALLY! I really like this!! It’s what I wanted!”

Really? What he wanted?!?  He doesn’t even know what he HAS!

Ugh…. So we are well into October and I’ve stayed true to not only my Spending Diet but my aforementioned resolution. We’ll just have to see how this one plays out, cause all I’VE ever wanted for Christmas is….. Oh, you get the idea:)